214207

Joke of the Day

"What do you call an animal with a long neck and a love for oranges? A Jiraffa."

"[Shark Tank] Ok hear me out. -Alright. It's an airplane made out of cats. -But why? It cant crash. Always lands on it's feet. -Please leave."

"When skinny girls say ""I'm so fat"" to fish for a compliment from me, I just agree."

"Boss: ""We are all going to have a bunch of Red Bull, bust out the chest of Adderall, be laser focused for about 4 hours, then die."""

"I met the donkey from Numbers 22... He was a pretty cool guy... What? Did you expect him to be an ass?"

"LIFE HACK: If ur phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, rice will attract Asians who will fix ur electronics for you"

"My family is missing that gene that tells you when trash cans are full."

"Your mom is so fat She's the trunk of the family tree"

"As soon as you see the cop approaching, throw the bag of weed in his hands and do a citizen's arrest."

"I was going to make a joke about thailand... But Phuket."