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Joke of the Day

"Why is the suicide rate so low for Puerto Ricans? You can't jump out of a basement apartment."

"The man who invented the ""VELCRO"" died today.... ...RIP."

"Yeah, so, I don't usually argue with people who I can remove from my life by pressing a button....."

"A man goes to a library and asks if they have a book on suicide The librarian says ""Fuck off, you won't bring it back."""

"Kid just asked ""why is it called 'flipping the bird'? Why not turtle? Flipping the Turtle."" I can't even answer that bc WHY NOT TURTLE?!"

"If the main character of ""The Walking Dead "" spared every human, would he be called... ... Pacifist Rick ?"

"Ya know, I've never taken an ugly girl to bed... Woke up with a few though."

"The dirtiest joke I know: What is the difference between a baby and a freezer? One does not scream when I pack my meat into it."

"I have a habit of 5 starring bad movies on amazon because if I wasted 90+ minutes on that crap, I want you to suffer too."

"I saw two construction workers laughing together today. I know what they were building... Friendship."