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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend asked if I could play wonderwall. I said ""maybe"""

"""Wanna hear a chemistry joke?"" ""Na, man, I'm good."" ""Wow, you didn't have to get salty over it."" (Chemically inaccurate but who cares, right?)"

"What was King Arthur's favourite game ? Knights and crosses !"

"What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant? Who cares? It's a relephant."

"A scientist and a hooker walk into a bar... But find that they can't open the door due to an over-saturation of priests, rabbis, lawyers, and Irishmen inside."

"What do you call a cross between a hippo, an elephant and a rhino? Hell if I know"

"Witch: Doctor I can't help pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Well there's nothing terrible about that. Witch: It is when the people with ugly faces don't like them being pulled."

"One burrito looks at another burrito and says, ""you wanna fight?"" The second burrito says, ""nah"". The first burrito says, ""What are you, chicken?"""

"The bartender asks him what he'd like to drink. A time traveler walks into a bar."

"I noticed you're eating that bag of popcorn one piece at a time. So how many people have you murdered?"