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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant? Who cares? It's a relephant."
Next Joke
"What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called? -Hurricanes with cataracts"
"*stops next to punks at red light* *stares them down, turns up The Walking Dead opening music* *light turns green, slowly accelerates*"
"How has the guy who makes Capri Sun straw openings not been up for a job performance review?"
"What do you call someone that steals shoes? A sneaker."
"I assume most of braille writing is just shit talking about non-blind people."
"My son would've been 4 yo today Man 1: My son would've been 4 yo today Man 2: Oh, I'm sorry man. What happened? Man 1: I pulled out."
"I'm not afraid of death, so much as I am of dying! I wanna die how my father died, peacefully in his sleep, not like his screaming terrified passengers! *Gotham, Mondays on Fox*"
"What did the gingerbread man say during sex? I'm gonna crumb!"
"GYM Man: ""Can you spot me?"" Me: ""Sure"" Man: *Throwing down towel* ""Invisibility cloak my ass"""