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Joke of the Day

"Why did the laptop memory have such a hard time in school? Because he was SO-DIMM!"

"GPS: turn left onto High Street Husband: no thanks, I know a longer way."

"How can you tell if a woman is bi-polar? She works at two different strip clubs."

"When we were vacationing in New Zealand, I bought myself a back-scratcher made from a Kangaroo claw. ... ... The only downside is when I use it on myself, I end up feeling jumpy the rest of the day."

"I was at a restaurant and my waitress had a black eye... So I ordered really slow, because she obviously doesn't listen"

"My License to Kill was revoked due to abuse of power."

"A MAN IS WALKING BY A TRASHCAN AND SMELLS SOMETHING BAD He was relaxed to find it was just an indian"

"Prof asked if anyone liked comic books. I raised my hand. She didnt add anything or say why it mattered. Just wanted to isolate me socially."

"Do you remember when the most annoying thing on the Internet was a dancing baby? Yeah, good times"

"I appreciate the lemons, but wasn't one of you supposed to teach me how to fish by now?"