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Joke of the Day

"My License to Kill was revoked due to abuse of power."

"Why was the horse always mad at the mule? It kept half-assing everything."

"John was going through a rough time, he lost his job and couldn't pay rent. Everything was hopeless when suddenly, he remembered... mitochondria is the power house of the cell."

"Did you hear the energizer bunny was arrested? He was charged with battery"

"Two elderly men are lounging on the porch of the Socialist Nudist Club, and one says to the other.... ""Say old chap, have you read Marx?"" ""Why yes. It's these bloody wicker chairs!"""

"A year ago, I likened Trump to an African dictator. Today, I think I owe African dictators an apology."

"I had my photo taken with REM yesterday. That's me in the corner."

"Help stop early childhood obesity It's as easy taking candy from a baby."

"*whispers to businessman sleeping next to me on bus* Sleep tight precious angel"

"What is worse than ants in your pants? ......... Uncles."