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Joke of the Day

"I'm writing a book called ""Stop Overreacting"". If you guys don't buy it I'm going to kill myself."

"Why people use Twitter: because updating 100 times a day on Facebook is not socially acceptable."

"Whether Trump or Hillary becomes president, I won't be living in the USA afterwards From someone currently living in Europe with no plans of leaving because of being a student."

"My wife says I'm irresponsible with money! No change there then."

"If you think your girlfriend has a great sense of humor... try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes."

"A Mexican magician says to the audience: ""For my next trick, I will disappear on the count of three. Uno... Dos..."" *POOF*. And he disappeared without a tres."

"What did the oyster say when the monster broke into his home? Shucks"

"What is a pedophile's favorite shoe? White Vans."

"*sits son down for the talk* You ready? ""Yeah"" Ok. When a man and a woman love each other- *pulls out Pokeball* -they throw this at a baby"

"Sometimes I'll order a pizza without any toppings... When I'm feeling saucy."