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Joke of the Day

"A Mexican magician says to the audience: ""For my next trick, I will disappear on the count of three. Uno... Dos..."" *POOF*. And he disappeared without a tres."

"Real girls have curves. A real girl is just one long, continuous curve. Do not date girl unless she is a parabola."

"TIFU by posting in the wrong subreddit."

"""This is OnStar. How can we assist?"" ""What are you wearing?"" ""Do I need to get a supervisor?"" ""Like a threesome? Is that part of my plan?"""

"Remember Doodle-Bob from Spongebob? So do I, guy was Sketchy as hell."

"I told a riddle to a double amputee once Boy did it leave him stumped"

"I'm not saying that Asians are bad drivers... But I'm beginning to think that Pearl Harbor was an accident."

"A Rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar The bartender asks - is this some kind of joke?"

"What did the colon tell the large intestine after several hours' worth of diarrhoea? ""Get your shit together"""

"The early bird gets the worm but the early worm gets eaten, so... I choose sleep."