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Joke of the Day
"On a scale of corn to manycorn how impressed are you by my new corn-based number system"
Next Joke
"Anne Hathaway always looks like she's unwrapping a gift but she already knows what it is"
"I wonder if poor kids in Africa dream of a white christmas? Like spending time with your whole family, getting tons of Xboxes and play stations. Heaping servings of food, etc."
"I just recently became a vegetarian. I quit meat cold tofu."
"[at a party] *taps wife's shoulder* I've looked everywhere...where are all the swings? (wife pulls away from kissing Bob) ""What?"""
"How many ears does Captain Picard have? A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear."
"Bestiality is like prescription drugs... May cause internal bleeding, shortness of breath, abdominal pain, infection, diarrhea and in extreme cases, could be fatal."
"What does a dyslexic tiger and a bus driver have in common? A bus driver can't change his stops."
"I'd hate to be Rock, and have to come home and explain to my kids how I got beat by Paper."
"I have a flight to catch but there is a cat on my lap"