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Joke of the Day
"How many ears does Captain Picard have? A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear."
Next Joke
"Teacher: You're here to learn. Me: No bitch, I'm here because my mum wouldn't let me stay home."
"How do Mexicans cut their pizza? Little caesars."
"[at the pearly gates] I said, ""send me a selfie."" Then she said, ""too ugly today."" So I said, ""never stopped you before"" ...& here I am."
"Marriage Counseling Therapist: So you're considering ending the marriage? Wife: I am sick of all the Star Wars puns. Husband: Divorce is strong with this one."
"Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!"
"*In the ER* ""We're losing him, anyone have any ideas?"" ""How about 50 cc's of a cool refreshing beverage?"" ""Dammit Dr. Pepper not now!"""
"Whats the difference between white people and yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop its own cultures without having to resort to stealing others."
"My TWILIGHT ZONE plot idea: The sole survivor of the apocalypse finally has time to listen to podcasts but still doesn't feel like it."
"My love is like a candle... (Fixed) http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/32850407.jpg"