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Joke of the Day

"[at a party] *taps wife's shoulder* I've looked everywhere...where are all the swings? (wife pulls away from kissing Bob) ""What?"""

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"How are men like noodles? They are always in hot water they lack taste and they need dough."
"Bikes a bike cannot stand on its own because it is two tired."
"You should never go grocery shopping when you're hungry and never go clothes shopping when you're naked."
"Argon walks into a bar The bartender looks up angrily, yelling at him, ""Get out! We don't take stuck up snobs like you!"" Argon doesn't react."
"Why didn't Ukraine go to war with Russia yet? They were Putin up with him."
"I don't mind hopping on the bandwagon every once in a while, but seriously, it's 2010. Buy a fucking car already."
"Today I made an immigration officer laugh He was borderline hysterical."
"In a way, Han Solo was a bit like a modern Icarus. They both got too close to the son."
"What is the difference between a paycheck and a cock? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!"