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Joke of the Day

"I want to open a Reserve to breed, arm and train West Lowland Gorillas to fight Jihadists. I'm going to call it Boko Harambe"

"Woman in bed: Aaagh! Aaagh! A ghost just floated into my room! Ghost: Don't worry ma'am I'm just passing through."

"How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says ""lather rinse repeat."""

"when I played the Sims if a sim got hungry/tired I'd just delete them and replace them with a copy who was content so maybe no kids for me"

"Why didn't the guy with ADHD take his medicine? He forgot."

"I'm probably moving back to my home country if Trump gets elected. Not by choice either."

"a gymnast walks into a bar. she is immediately given a 0.0 and disqualified from Olympic trials. you're supposed to jump OVER the bar, idiot"

"So me and my demons are gonna have a few bloody mary's and see where the day takes us. Would you and your demons like to tag along?"

"Where did the amino acid go to church? The cysteine chapel."

"Number of ways to start a terrorist attack: 321 BOOM!"