84219

Joke of the Day

"a gymnast walks into a bar. she is immediately given a 0.0 and disqualified from Olympic trials. you're supposed to jump OVER the bar, idiot"

"My parallel parking skills are unparalleled."

"What did the rabbi say after he was diagnosed with an aggressive and inoperable form of brain cancer, and his wife and child died in a car crash while driving to the hospital? ""Oy vey!"""

"What do you call an STD for homeless people? Hermit Crabs"

"My wife removed the ""G"" key from our keyboard at home so I could appreciate the frustration associated with not hitting the spot."

"When I die, I'm donating my body to the theater department. Any jerk could donate their body to science. I can't wait to be a theater prop."

"There are two types of people in the world... Those who can read between the lines."

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down the road and turned into a field."

"Did ya hear that the price of coal is so high Santa can't afford to give it away anymore? All of the bad kids are stuck trying to steal oil."

"TIFU By standing in for a sick teacher in the wrong classroom whoops, wrong sub."