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Joke of the Day

"How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says ""lather rinse repeat."""

"I accidentally switched toothpaste with hemorrhoid cream... Now my sore tooth's better and my farts are minty fresh."

"The residents of Mayberry took a course in computer programming. Whenthe instructor said, ""Compile,"" Gomer went to the head of the class."

"I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named FIREWORKS AND VACUUMS so my dog won't find them."

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions Note to self...avoid good intentions at all costs."

"I sometimes lie awake and wonder how much useful information I've left out of my brain to make room for these Hanson songs."

"You're psychiatrist's opinion about your social media habits don't count if he has less followers than you."

"A little boy asked his father, ""Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"" Father replied, ""I don't know son, I'm still paying."

"What's the hardest part of milking a mouse ? Getting it to fit over a bucket !"

"Have you heard the one about the midget fortune teller that robbed a McDonalds? The papers the next day read, ""SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE"""