214302

Joke of the Day

"So me and my demons are gonna have a few bloody mary's and see where the day takes us. Would you and your demons like to tag along?"

"What do you say to a giraffe? ""Hi, Asshole!"" (Made that up myself, I did.)"

"Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate! The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour."

"Midnight Mass is my codename for the weight gain induced by eating three dozen cookies."

"If You're Having Vocal Problems... ...I feel bad for you, son. I've got 99 problems, but my pitch ain't one. I apologize in advance."

"Gay porn is so funny, I can't keep a straight face while watching it."

"Maybe if women would quit playing games they'd worry less about competition"

"YOGA CLASS INSTRUCTOR: And now we go into downward dog *loud thud GARY WHO IS A T-REX: I'm ok. I'm ok. It's just a bloody nose."

"What do you call your grandma on speed dial? Instragram!"

"MAD TOILET - that is HILARIOUS ! :D :D Extremely funny and positive Android Game :D :D https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=game.mibejo.madtoilet"