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Joke of the Day

"Want to piss off a female archeologist? Show her a used tampon and ask what period it's from. Wakka wakka!"

"Slow and Steady Wins the Race. But Fast and Furious killed Paul Walker."

"As a stay at home dad, I have more in common with lingerie models than you might think. We both are in our underwear most of our work day."

"Why don't Korean captains wear hats? Because they don't know what to do with cap sizes."

"Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants In case he gets a hole in one"

"What does Agatha Christie call a group of almost every type of bird? A Murder of Most Fowls!"

"midterms and finals are like prayers to god. i never get answers."

"[First Date] Me: *licks corner of napkin* Me: *dabs at his cheek* Him: ............... Me: Sorry. Force of habit."

"My dog crosses her paws regally while lying on the floor, like she didn't just eat the contents of the bathroom trash can."

"What flavor gum does the President prefer? Governmint Ill walk myself to the nearest border"