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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriends 2 year old nephew loves trucks. His first word was truck. He points at every truck he sees and talks about trucks in his sleep. I guess you could day he's semi crazy"

"I am still at a loss over Hillary Clinton's defeat and I emailed my consolations to her, but never got a response Do I need to call FBI to look into it"

"Interviewer: ""Why do you want to be a librarian?"" Me: ""I like telling people to be quiet."""

"Personally, I don't believe in ""bros before hoes"" or ""hoes before bros"" There needs to be a balance. A homie-hoe-stasis if you will."

"Her: I just don't like you, no one does Me: What, why? is it my hair? Her: no Me: MY LOOKS!? Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god"

"What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married? Feyonce. *drops mic, throws up dynasty sign*"

"What does a sheep say after walking into a disgusting, dirty bar? Ew."

"What kind of shoes does a thief wear? Sneakers."

"Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window"

"(NSFW) What do crocs and a blow job from a dude have in common? They both feel good until you look down."