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Joke of the Day

"(NSFW) What do crocs and a blow job from a dude have in common? They both feel good until you look down."

"Who runs the 100 acre wood website? www.innie the pooh."

"This man's dad was an atheist. Told me he was a god damned mother fucker."

"Why are there no walmarts in Iraq? Because there is a target on every corner,"

"I identify as a Skywalker I guess you could call me Anakin."

"Boss: Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact? Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me."

"Why did Rolf Harris leave Animal Hospital? He heard they were getting hares and lost interest!"

"HR: Did you tell Brenda she was stupid? Me: Oh god no! I said she is stupid. HR... Me: There's no past tense with that one."

"I only had 3 goals in Monopoly as a kid: Dog game piece Boardwalk and Park Place. Steal your money when you go to the bathroom."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... In an airtight bag in the freezer."