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Joke of the Day

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool. Credit to my 15 yo son who made this one up. I'm fairly certain he browses Reddit but he wouldn't admit it to me."

"Every night before bed I do this cute little thing where I stare at the Internet for 6.5 hours"

"What does rock music and my grandpa have in common? The Strokes"

"In the old days they sacrificed virgins to appease the Gods. They must have realized sacrificing the town slut would have been such a waste."

"Q: How does Hitler tie his shoes? A: With little Nazis."

"Hey baby, are you a carrot? Because I want to chop you into little pieces."

"Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a tree? Good hiders, aren't they?"

"just missed a turn because I was trying to tweet ""dong cheadle"" while driving"

"I can't see an end, I have no control and I don't think there's any escape, I don't even have a home anymore...Definitely time for a new keyboard."

"What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? A key."