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Joke of the Day

"I've just bought the new Beach Boys mobile phone. The ringtones are shit but it has good vibrations."

"What do you call a heard of masturbating cows? ....Beef stroganoff"

"Guys, I know Charlie Sheen isn't winning right now. But at least he's positive."

"Why were the people in the twin towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni, but all they got was plane."

"I like my women like I like my milk Freshly made and trapped in the fridge"

"I accidentally dropped one of my husband's Viagra into my contact solution and now I'm cockeyed."

"My essay question is: ""The best Track and Field event is the one where they throw the circular object as far as they can."" ""Discus."""

"Blind Masturbation Championships Went to the blind masturbation championships the other day. No idea where I came."

"Did you hear about the lawyer whose divorce ended up in a nasty custody fight about a dog? When the lawyer won the dog bit him."

"Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job"