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Joke of the Day

"Mom joke I told my friend I started going out with an older woman,so he asked her age. I told it was 42,when he replied wow she could be your mom. I just answered :yes,but she is yours."

"Freudian Slip. What Freud wore under his skirt when he cross dressed on weekends."

"Two quick jokes How do you make a dog go meow? Freeze it in a block of ice an run it through a band-saw... MMMEEEOOOOWWWW! How do you make a cat go woof? Pour kerosene on it an drop a match... WOOOFF!"

"[shopping for make-up] ""Excuse me, what will make my eyes pop?"" ""I know exactly what you need."" [boots you into the vacuum of deep space]"

"""This is embarrassing, but would you believe we actually met offline?"" - married couples in 5 years"

"Because of the efforts of my great grandfather, we don't speak German in this country. That's because he single-handedly killed 11 language teachers."

"Chad always has an impeccable fashion sense, even when he's not trying People ask him how he does it and he tells them, ""Well, I didn't stay in the closet all those years for nothing""."

"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Phelps can actually finish a race."

"[Jesus at the bar] ""Oh, I'll just have a water"" *winks at camera*"

"How long does it take for a White woman to take a crap? 9 Months."