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Joke of the Day

"[Jesus at the bar] ""Oh, I'll just have a water"" *winks at camera*"

"I'm late to this meeting cause I have a boner and can't get out of my car"

"My girlfriend broke up with me. I am devastated. How could you. I did everything. I surprised you with burgers every night"

"I wish gummi bears screamed when you ate them"

"""It's raining men. Hallelujah."" -The lesser known 11th plague that God sent to the Egyptians"

"Have you heard about the one-armed super hero? He single handedly stops crime."

"TWITTER REHAB IS GOING GOOD YOU GUYS I GOT A NEW FRIEND HE HAS SPECIAL SUGAR AND IT'S AWESOME AND MY YARD HAS 3,957,268 BLADES OF GRASS!!!!"

"Bush Jr, and his take on words The only reason Bush Jr attacked Iraq,,, is because Bush Sr. asked for ""a tie rack"" for Christmas!"

"On which day during Black History Month are the kids taught how to Dougie?"

"Why do hot girls always go for assholes? I don't even like pegging."