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Joke of the Day

"Two quick jokes How do you make a dog go meow? Freeze it in a block of ice an run it through a band-saw... MMMEEEOOOOWWWW! How do you make a cat go woof? Pour kerosene on it an drop a match... WOOOFF!"

"[Bar] me: Gimme one more wife: I think you've had enough m: Last one w: Fine m: *asks waitress for another kids menu so I can do the maze*"

"A joke my dad said about black people! I said, Dad do you like black people? He says, ""Yeah! I think everyone should have one or two!"""

"Not only do I refuse to take the stairs up to my office, when I'm in the elevator I wish there was a chair in it."

"What do you call a hula hoop with a nail on the inside? A Navel Destroyer."

"did you write ""call Gary in HR for lots of really disappointing and hairy sex"" on the bathroom stall? [wearing my ""I hate gary"" tshirt]: no"

"If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test?"

"Was told to turn on the water hose I was told to turn on the water hose. Responded ""I don't know anything about mermaid sexuality"""

"Twilight is like soccer. They run around for 2 hours, nobody scores, and its millions of fans insist you just don't understand."

"The McRib is back. Because you're getting new underwear for Christmas anyway."