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Joke of the Day

"Rasputin never died that day, as an immortal being. He hid for decades, before dropping the ""Ras"" and slipping back into Russian politics."

"Racing car drivers The only profession where you are considered successful if you've had a checkered career."

"My wife's cooking is so bad.... My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food."

"Donald Trump just kicked a Mexican out of his press conference for not waiting their turn like everyone else."

"My initial goal is to get really, really fat and be a contestant on The Biggest Loser."

"Walmart greeter smiled at me. Long story short, the weddings Friday. Everyone's invited. Except Harold. HE said I'd NEVER find true love."

"Why was Farmer Bob so good at his job? Because he was outstanding in his field"

"You know how to tell if your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick taste like blood."

"There once was a man named Dave Dave dug up a chick from the grave. She looked kinda gritty... Was missing a titty... But think of the money he saved!"

"I tried ballet, but I never got the pointe."