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Joke of the Day

"That's about as useful as... ...Anne Frank's drumkit."

"Why all Tickle me Elmo dolls are male. They all get two test tickles before they leave the factory."

"I was walking home and saw some drunk guy trying to steal someones gate... I was gonna say something, but I din't want him to take a fence."

"Bruce Willis on a jetski, being pursued by a pug on a smaller jetski"

"Every time I'm around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence."

"*walks up to IKEA return counter *rips receipt into tiny pieces *tells the clerk to put it together himself"

"I'm gonna have sex on new year's day... To start the new year with a bang."

"I'm holding a charity night for people that can't reach orgasm. If you can't come let me know."

"PSA: If your kid bumps into me one more time with your shopping cart I will unhinge my jaw and swallow him whole."

"Why did the pregnant Chinese chicken cross the road? Because ah, the egg roll."