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Joke of the Day

"*walks up to IKEA return counter *rips receipt into tiny pieces *tells the clerk to put it together himself"

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"What do you get when if you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic and an agnostic? A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog."
"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? I can't marmalade my cock into my girlfriend's arse"
"You know those little helmet stickers some football teams use to reward personal achievement? Bald guys should do that."
"An alligator can grow up to 17 feet. But most only have four."
"Why was the paleontologist angry? Because he had a bone to pick."
"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Ba dum tss."
"I was dropping my kids off at school when I saw a sign that said ""Watch for Children."" I'm going to miss them, but man this is a nice Rolex."
"What's long, hard, and covered in people? The Great Wall of China, pervert."
"What do you call a bird of prey with high intelligence? A falcon genius."
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