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Joke of the Day

"Put a load into the dryer and had to twist every dial to correct setting. I won't lie to you: it made me feel like a Space Captain"

"All i'm saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first."

"So it turns out the son of a preacherman just had really long arms"

"Ariana Grande is what happens if you feed a Bratz doll after midnight."

"Some people say I have no idea how to run a court room. I'll let you be the judge."

"What do parliament and Ukrainian skies have in common? They're both raining bodies"

"What is the difference between a man and a dog? A man wears a suit and the dog, pants."

"Sir? the table of hot ladies over there wanted to know what song you were drumming on the bar. they said it seemed very fast and impressive."

"What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless."

"Did you hear about the alcoholic chemist that died? He just loved drinking PBr"