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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless."

"women tend to make bad decisions when they're around me... if they chose me instead it would be the best decision of their lives!"

"A kid was born without eye lids, so they used the spare skin from his circumcision to form some. Everything turned out fine, except... the doctor said he was a little cockeyed."

"My math text book got recalled We were told it had too many problems"

"a coca-cola can and a dr pepper bottle are having an emotional talk... coca-cola asked why dr pepper had been bottling up his feelings for so long!"

"Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja."

"ok that's baby's 17th word *opens baby journal* so far we've got flerch, yarf, veerm... honey has it occured to you our kid is an idiot"

"I discovered the number one reason OP never delivers. #"

"How do Catholic church priests stay healthy? They exorcise."

"My leg goes to sleep as soon as the dog starts humping it. I'm afraid they're married."