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Joke of the Day

"next time you're considering wearing a fedora just think ""what would jesus do?"" because jesus wouldn't wear a fedora."

"Me: C'mon, baby. Send me a pic. Her: I dunno. Me: Baby, please. I need it. Her: Fine. *Opens pic of pug dressed like a duck* Me: Sweeeeeet"

"What do you call an ant from overseas ? Impartant"

"Zoo A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu."

"What's a good motto for a sewage treatment plant? Our duty is clear. Credit: Futurama"

"Why did the Jedi take his MIDI controller into the pool. He wanted to increase his MIDI chlorine count?"

"""I feel your pane""- Guy walking into your window."

"If you watch Harry Potter backwards, Voldemort is really good at zapping people back to life and turning Harry into a baby."

"Thanksgiving is going to be hard this year because half my family dances to remember and the other half dances to forget."

"So I sucked an ass this morning. I mean, everyone eats thier animal crackers differently."