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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped from prison? Headlines read: ""Small Medium at Large"""

"Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage."

"[Man in restaurant] I'll have that lobster please. *points to aquarium containing lobster putting finishing touches to his octopus disguise*"

"Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other."

"I don't lie. I have, however, invented my own language which uses a lot of the same words as English but with somewhat altered meanings."

"what if the Blair Witch was just lonely"

"My mom asked me a question and when I went to answer she said, ""Hold on I can't hear you. I gotta turn on the light."" The dark was too loud?"

"My colleague was fired for stealing printer cartridges He was caught magenta handed."

"Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!"

"Genuinely stunned France has adopted the word ""wifi"" rather than ""le signal librement accessible sans l'utilisation de fils"" or some shit."