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Joke of the Day

"I invited a friend to go hunt some gods with me... But he just can't deicide."

"I can't stand people who have to use a wheelchair That's all."

"How many jobs did Speaker Boehner create in the past 4 years as a Speaker? One, when he left."

"haha lol ownded dad!!!! u may thimk its nice that u get a fathers day once a year, but ther is a son day evrey week"

"A farmer counted 196 cows in the pasture. But he rounded them up and had 200."

"I told my girlfriend I've known 3 whores in my life. The first one was named mercedes, the second one porsche, your name must be buick!"

"Why did the chicken say, ""In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit...""? Because the chicken crossed the road."

"I'm glad I've got boobs. The last thing I want is people making eye contact with me."

"Why was the leper hockey game cancelled? There was a face off in the corner"

"Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it's to be less of a nerd."