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Joke of the Day

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? Me and my running friends always run 5Ks, but now they want to run 10K races and I really hate running 10Ks"

"Two college grads are standing at a counter... The one says to the other ""I'll have a number 6, super sized"""

"I cannot stand sitting beside a racist person. because its impossible to sit and stand simultaneously.."

"I threw a cat in a lake I have finally made a pussy wet."

"Police Officer: ""Turn around!"" Me: *sings* ""Every every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round..."""

"My Dad asked if I wanted to go on a mountain climbing trip with him in Nepal, I said, ""Sher, pa"""

"What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home? When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!"

"How many Mormons do you take fishing with you? Two. If you only take one, he'll drink all your beer."

"""Act your age!"" I yell at my 11 year-old daughter as I put on my Captain America t-shirt."

"Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen that said 'Parking Fine'."