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Joke of the Day
"There's too much nudity on TV these days... ... all I can do is sit here and shake my fist at it."
Next Joke
"Facebook should change the status question from ""what's on your mind?"" to ""what's your problem today?"""
"I bought a high end stereo with a broken volume knob for $10. I couldn't turn it down."
"Hypnotist Error"
"Henry constantly confuses sleeping people with dead people. Henry is also a necrophiliac so things get awkward for Henry quick"
"""I am inspiring"" -Russian guy who's about to get kicked out of his spy ring"
"Text from mom: How's my baby girl? Me: I'm moving back in. Mom: Your room is ready. Me: No, your uterus! Mom: Steph you drink too much"
"If your mother-in-law and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose... would you go to lunch or a movie?"
"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was."
"What kind of meat do priests eat? Nun."