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Joke of the Day
"I saw a documentary about how ships are held together It was riveting"
Next Joke
"They're playing Earth, Wind and Fire. I was not prepared to party this hard at Home Depot."
"I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge."
"As a guy, wearing Crocs is a lot like getting a blowjob from another man... It feels great until you look down and realize you're a homo."
"I like my elections like I like my contract bridge. No Trump"
"Fun Game: 1. Be a couple without kids. 2. Hire a babysitter. 3. When they show up and ask where the kid is, scream, ""You lost it already?!?"""
"My 17yo pretends he doesn't understand how the washer works when I ask him to do the laundry Congrats, you're finally a man"
"Did you fall from the sky? Not because you look like an angel but because your face looks like you fell from a really high place ;)."
"What do you call an Arabic rapper? Vanilla Isis"
"Me: *applies temporary tattoos* Mom: Unicorn tats? Me: I'm in a gang. Mom: Ha! With who, Lisa Frank? Me: You just made a powerful enemy."