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Joke of the Day
"They're playing Earth, Wind and Fire. I was not prepared to party this hard at Home Depot."
Next Joke
"What is a blonde's favorite fairy tale? Humpme Dumpme!"
"It's surprising how little people change Actually the process isn't that different, other than the tiny clothes"
"Half the people who follow me are waiting for the nervous breakdown; the other half follow because they're easily impressed by semicolons."
"Never give your address or date of birth to anyone on social media. Armed with this information, they could show up at your birthday party."
"I think the scariest part about having triplets is having to be pregnant for 27 months."
"All the sex I've ever had in my life... has been an inside job."
"Job hunting tip: Leave the facial piercings at home. Hard to get hired when you look like you fell down a flight of stairs with a tackle box"
"Everyone SAYS they want a fairytale wedding but when I show up and curse their firstborn suddenly I'm the jerk."
"Why do Lannisters have such big beds? GoT because they push twins together to make a king."