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Joke of the Day

"The city of Chicago is no longer giving speeding tickets... Instead, to deter speeders, the are giving away Bears tickets."

"You know what would really suck? Finding a needle in a haystack."

"Me: Watcha got there? 8: Lemonade. Me: What kind? 8: Mike's Me: Nooooooo"

"My dog failed puppy school. He was always wagging class."

"What is white on top and black on the bottom? Society"

"People want to know if the Vice President will be running in 2016 He might, but for now he's just Biden his time."

"This sub has taken a dive recently I guess I should put my phone in rice to try and dry it out."

"What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!"

"I tried to have a conversation with a rock. It was hard."

"Me: God, I just feel so Brain: HUNGRY M: No, I'm very alone. I desperately want B: FOOD M: Part of me is missing. All I need is B: PRINGLES"