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Joke of the Day

"I tried to have a conversation with a rock. It was hard."

"They developed a new type of cough syrup for Elephants with bad tusks. They call it, Robituskin'."

"What do Trump voters call Holocaust survivors? Mulligans."

"Q:Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A:('He wanted cold hard cash!')"

"Q: How many vegetarians does it take to eat a cow? A: One if nobody's looking."

"What's the difference between a pedophile and acne? NSFW One doesn't come on your face until your twelve"

"How do we know Mayberry's Andy Taylor was a Redditor? He had sex with Opie's mom."

"I bought my wife a pair of shoes and a dildo. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself. (Shamelessly stolen from Craig Ferguson)"

"Mom: you failed your english test, didn't you? Me: who telled you?"

"[campfire] And that's when he realized... HE FORGOT TO ENABLE WIFI AND WATCHED 5 SEASONS USING HIS DATA PLAN [everyone screams in terror]"