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Joke of the Day

"This sub has taken a dive recently I guess I should put my phone in rice to try and dry it out."

"what do you call an underwater dog? a sub-woofer"

"I had a friend in a wheelchair but i had to let him go Now hes going downhill fast"

"""Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"" -a very curious play goer."

"I've changed my name to Yasiin Bey. It is very important to me personally and culturally that I am called by only this name from now on and I ask respect for my decision... said Mos Def"

"Personal trainer said we're going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese. He hates me."

"I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT ANYTHING. YOU ARE EVIL. I don't want to go in the swing!! NOOOOooooo.... okay. yeah. This works. I'll hang here. - Baby"

"Did you hear about the prostitute who got fired for going on strike? She just didn't give a fuck."

"How many tax advisors does it take to change a light bulb? ""In the summer there is a tax deductible convention in Hawaii dealing exactly with this issue."""

"All girls love surprises. I didn't know putting a snake in her handbag was wrong. We can't understand women."