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Joke of the Day

"*puts on pickle costume* *gets stuck in pickle costume* *calls friend* Could you please help me? I've gotten my myself into a pickle."

"I've had about 13 beers so I guess I'll give myself a haircut"

"kid who doesn't believe in Santa What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus."

"Never have unprotected sex with a cannibal. Or next thing you know, you'll have a baby in the oven."

"What do you call a bad pun? Punishment."

"What is it called when a thief steals a purse, runs into the street, then gets run over? *Car*ma"

"Allergies I have allergies to Pollen. I just realized that's plant sperm. Now when people ask ""What are you allergic to?"" and can tell them Plant Spern"

"A fax machine is just a surprise printer."

"A lion wouldn't cheat at golf... But a tiger woods"

"A man gets on a bus, and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus."