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Joke of the Day

"kid who doesn't believe in Santa What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus."

"What did the police officer say to the man who was urinating publicly? ""Urine trouble, mate!"""

"My future is so bright I need to stay in my room browsing reddit until nightfall."

"When telling a joke to a German, it's very important to remember the rule of three. They have a very drei sense of humor."

"Someone sent me some wood, nails, a saw and a hammer in the post I don't know what to make of it"

"I'm making a movie about a guy who thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him, so he secretly followers her around to keep an eye on her. It's called ""Bae Watch""."

"What do you call Mussolini's flying saucer? A dictator ship."

"When the police asked Bernie if he profited from stealing millions of dollars from his former clients he replied, ""What do you think i'm Madoff?"""

"""Do NOT wake her up! It took me thirty minutes to get her to shut up and go to sleep."" -Conversation I just had about a damn Furby."

"The fact acceptance movement and the French Revolution are very similar. People losing their heads over eating cake."