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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for everyone I work with who's dumber than me, I'd have $11 cause I work for a small company."

"Warning... Corny level is over 9000... What do you call a billionaire fish? A gillionaire"

"What's the scariest thing about a white man in prison? You know he did it."

"My son is at that tender age where he believes me when I say that the dog ate the rest of the cookies out of the pantry."

"Don't do the pathetic baby talk when talking to the baby. They don't understand you any better. You don't go up to a dog and start barking."

"This morning I had a shit that was an ornithologists dream.. It was like a thousand sparrows flying out of a hole in a tree."

"Oh no! An Xbox One and PS4 just had a head on collision... CALL AN AMBULANCE! WiiU WiiU WiiU WiiU WiiU"

"I have PTSD from catching a glimpse of a co-worker's pale belly roll during a meeting."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma One has claws on it's paws. The other is a pause in a clause."

"*Jesus comes into the house* Judas: Jesus, close the door! Were you born in a barn? *room gets super quiet* Judas: Uh right. I forgot. Sorry"