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Joke of the Day

"My son is at that tender age where he believes me when I say that the dog ate the rest of the cookies out of the pantry."

"I've fallen into a sar chasm. Totally didn't break my legs! It's a regular party down here!"

"Why can't two Asians make a Caucasian? Because two wongs don't make a white."

"Is there an apology card for: Sorry I kidnapped your dog and made him run on a treadmill to power my toaster last week, or no?"

"I'm gonna start carrying breath mints around in an engagement ring box just to briefly make women really uncomfortable during conversation."

"How do you get a baby to stop choking? Take your dick out of its mouth."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick down your throat."

"""You remind me of a man."" - ""What man?"" - ""The man with the power."" - ""What power?"" - ""The power of Hoodoo."" - ""Who do?"" - ""You do."" - ""Do what?"" - ""Remind me of a man."""

"why did the cookie go to the doctors? ... because he felt crumby!"

"If it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, odds are it's a vegan, black bean, veggie burger and my wife is cooking."