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Joke of the Day

"Knowing is half the battle. The other half is choosing the right pokemon."

"Why did the hoover not make the football team? Because he sucked With love and sexy things from Jaques x"

"My retirement plan is to die young and broke."

"Did you hear about the magician that turned his family into a 3-piece suite but couldn't change them back? They were rushed to hospital where staff described them as ""comfortable""."

"*holds flashlight under chin* ""...and then the typo appears, AFTER you hit send!!"" *everyone screams in horror*"

"How do you tell a lonely geologist from a social one? The lonely one dated igneous rocks!"

"A man walks into a bar and see three bitches. Because he's a misogynist."

"If you love something, set it free If you hate something, do origami If you're hungry, go watch a movie I don't understand how advice works"

"I ended it after I checked his browser history and found hundreds of video game walk-throughs. Once a cheater, always a cheater."

"I have a very nice joke about unemployment.. but it never works."