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Joke of the Day

"If you love something, set it free If you hate something, do origami If you're hungry, go watch a movie I don't understand how advice works"

"My teacher accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get out of North Korea's missile range."

"What does a cannibal call a skateboarder? Meals on wheels."

"Two guys are drinking in a bar... One says to the other, ""Did you know that elks have sex 10 to 15 times a day?"" ""Aww, shit!"" says his friend, ""and I just joined the Knights of Columbus!"""

"[preppin for rap battle] *pops retainer out* dont wanna give him any ammunition *takes off suspenders* that should do it *rollerblades away*"

"People always tell me to act my age so I bought expensive cheese."

"I named my dog Herpes... If she's good, she'll heel. (Stolen from Priscilla)"

"What do you call an Indian guy who's seen it all? Been-there Done-that Sorry if it's been posted before but I just heard it from my Indian friend and thought I'd share"

"Ever hear of that cat turned vegan because of its vegan owner? Probably not, she died."