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Joke of the Day
"Someone just asked me if I was 'happily' married. Single people are adorable."
Next Joke
"An ex girlfriend of mine had a Cockatoo, that fucking thing would never shut up ... but her bird was cool."
"A fish hits a wall ... Dam wall!!"
"Spurs is the best football team ever."
"Culturally speaking... Having a McDonald's in a WalMart is like finding a cyst in a tumour."
"What's the difference between Joan Crawford and an abortion doctor ? When Joan used a coat-hanger on Cheryl, she was already out of the womb."
"My eyes are brown with tiny flecks of narcissism."
"At some point in time, the brain named itself. You think it would have gone with something a little better, like Bernard."
"How does a woman go about inventing something? She gives birth to a boy."
"A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says, ""Dad, can I have fifty dollars?"" The father looks at him and says, ""Forty dollars? What do you need thirty dollars for?"""