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Joke of the Day

"At some point in time, the brain named itself. You think it would have gone with something a little better, like Bernard."

"Why did they have to call Aquaman Aquaman Because they couldn't call him Seaman"

"I don't want to do cocaine. I just want to know what it smells like."

"What's the cheapest meat on the Market? Dear balls. They're under a buck."

"Facebook memories are a great way to see how fat you've gotten."

"It's crazy how much stuff there is to do on my phone when sitting at a restaurant alone."

"What do you call a joke with no punchline?"

"Did you hear about the epileptic snake? It had a hissy fit."

"The female praying mantis devours the male within minutes after mating, while the female human prefers to stretch it out over a lifetime."

"Why do tweakers do it doggy-style? So they can both look out the window."