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Joke of the Day
"What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek? ""Together, we can stop this shit."""
Next Joke
"Leo: *names his child Oscar* Doctor: ""Would you like to hol-"" Leo: ""Say it like we rehearsed it."" Doctor: *sighs* ""And the Oscar goes to..."""
"Here we go, funniest joke I know... So a man wins a divorce settlement."
"What happens when a T-rex gets strep? His throat becomes saurus."
"My reaction to Kit Kat prices: $1 good deal. $1.25 ok. $1.50 whoa. $1.75 what are we at the OPERA?!"
"I don't know how to tell my friends . . . that rather than hang out with them, I would prefer to be at home, alone, daydreaming about having better friends I would actually want to hang out with."
"What do you call a Mexican who likes little kids? A pedrophile."
"Drugs are great until they fall into the wrong hands. I am referring, of course, to the cops or people who don't enjoy life."
"What did the hiker say when he fell in a pile of moss? ""I'm not lichen this!'"
"All these mean jokes about the Boston Marathon Bombing ... are really crossing the line... too soon?"