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Joke of the Day

"Guys, no one on Twitter cares about what you're doing. They just want to know about how much you hate what you're doing."

"What is a capitalist's favorite fetish? Vore, because it's all about consumption"

"I'm on holiday visiting the math dept. at Univ. of Manchester, England. I guess I'm an Alan Turist."

"Dolls teach girls very unrealistic body standards. A Russian doesn't have to have many tiny Russians inside her to be beautiful."

"The bad weather kept my friend Edward from going to work today He's Snowden"

"I got robbed by a magician Took my wallet, watch and every silver dollar I had behind my ear."

"Why didn't the Terminator upgrade to Windows 10? He said ""I still love Vista, baby!"""

"my mom discovered slang. she just texted me ""sup?"" and i wrote back ""not much nigga! just cold kickin it with my breezies!"""

"I heard a guy complaining how expensive his wedding is costing him. Boy, he is gonna be real pist when he finds out how much his divorce is going to cost"

"For me, racism is the same as masturbating. I don't approve of it, but I'm pretty damn good at it. (Credits to Ronald Goedemondt)"