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Joke of the Day
"I got robbed by a magician Took my wallet, watch and every silver dollar I had behind my ear."
Next Joke
"Only real 90's kids remember being called a lazy fucking millennial"
"How did the pollock die raking leaves? He fell out of the tree."
"I only star inspirational tweets from 15 year-old white girls, because they've obviously got the deepest insight into the human experience."
"""May I take your order?"" the waiter asked. ""Yes how do you prepare your chickens?"" ""Nothing special sir"" he replied. ""We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."""
"I think these protesters are sending the wrong message... because they keep telling me to Love Trump's Hate."
"People who crave food for thought don't understand how food works."
"New business name slogans Tawnya's Cleaning Service: I'm not willing to clean my own home, but I'll clean the shit outta yours! What do you think?"
"I was talking to my buddy Adam Lanza and I asked him if he'd wanna date my 25-year-old friend. He said, ""Yeah! I love taking out twenty - five year olds!"""
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."