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Joke of the Day

"The bad weather kept my friend Edward from going to work today He's Snowden"

"What do black guys have that's longer than most white men's and gets even bigger when they touch a woman? Their criminal record."

"How to serve someone a summons to court 1) Knock on their door 2) Holding a really big check for $1,000,000 3) With a ""camera crew"" 4) Verify person's name 5) JK you've been served."

"What did Helen Keller say after she finished her bowl of cereal for breakfast? I may be blind, but I can see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch."

"What do you call a dog with no hind legs? Dragon balls!"

"I can't believe how much money I've spent fueling my drinking problem. Time to start brewing coffee at home."

"I've been eating this memory foam for weeks now and I can't even remember why I'm still eating memory foam"

"A Mexican magician says to the audience: ""For my next trick, I will disappear on the count of three. Uno... Dos..."" *POOF*. And he disappeared without a tres."

"Why can't you tell when a pterodactyl is going to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent."

"What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father in law."